People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.* – George Bernard Shaw

There’s no doubt that each one of us is unique. We are unique in terms of nature, talent, skillset, opportunity, place and time of birth, advantages, circumstances, problems, etc.

But if we see the other side to life, we happen to share some broader commonalities as well. Although our respective talents vary, the reality is we all possess some talent or the other. That’s a different thing if we aren’t aware of our talents or aren’t using them to earn a fulfilling life.

Likewise, certain crises many of us are into might be non-existent in the lives of others. But that does not mean that others are living a problem-free life. That’s a false belief. They too are facing challenges that are unique to them. Life at the end of the day is a struggle – wherein you have to struggle and adapt for existence.

• Therefore, we all have:
• Some problems and solutions
• Geographical benefits and drawbacks
• Finite access to resources
• Are part of some technological advancements and failures and
• Have taxes and national policies to bear with.

Yet only a few of us are able to chart a phenomenal growth trajectory, know how to be successful, and write success stories others envy. Let’s have a look at uncle Samuel’s story to understand why does this happen?

Meet Uncle Samuel

Uncle Samuel is 60 years old. He lives with his wife and two daughters in a rented apartment. He’s authoritative, good at networking, and has great convincing skills. But he’s short-tempered, inflexible, loves procrastinating, and lacks a strategic approach towards business. He started working when he was 18 years old. He ran a joint manufacturing unit of textiles for the first 25 of his work life which went bust. Then, he took over a manufacturing unit of paper which he steered for the coming 10 years. That too went into huge losses. He’s now a real estate consultant and is in this business for the past 5 years. Things are not going smoothly today as well. Sales suffer. Expenses are on the rise. Outstanding debts are still multiplying. Let’s see what Uncle Samuel has to say about the various ventures he was engaged into:

Textile unit had to be a failure. It was a joint business and my partners didn’t work as a team.

Paper unit didn’t work because there were drastic changes in the raw material prices by the government. Our sales took a big hit as we couldn’t purchase the raw material at supplier terms.

Real Estate business is stagnant right now because of the low investment sentiment. There are no investors in the market and that’s taking a toll. It’s slow but it will certainly pick up.

Can you see the blame game happening there? It’s either the partners, government policies or the bad investor sentiment. That’s how unsuccessful people see, talk and function. They don’t take the charge for their failure, their actions, their life. Hence, they remain a failure. At times for entire life. They lack proactivity.

Being Proactive – What Does that Really Mean?

Most of us think that to be proactive means to take aggressive action. Being proactive is not only about taking action. It’s about taking charge of your life. It’s when you understand that it’s your life and you are the driver, you are the one behind the wheel. No kind of circumstances, crisis, or people can put you down. It’s your choices, decisions, and actions that shape your life. And not the things that lie outside you. To be proactive simply means taking responsibility for your life. Much like the way George Bernard Shaw puts in the quote above:

> The people who get on in this world are the people who look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.

Why is it Important to be Proactive?

1. You Become the Architect of your Life, Not the Externalities

Dear Uncle Samuel, You are Your Biggest Enemy not the Forces Outside You

Let’s go a little deeper into Uncle Samuel’s life. He grappled with mounting debts, unpaid installments, unpleasant phone calls from the lenders each day. There were loopholes in his style of working – no urgency to deal with the severe situation, living the day with no planning and strategy, no long-term perspective, no questioning in terms of what’s going wrong and why is it so? There’s no questioning to self with regards to personal goals and the requisite results. Only blaming the people, circumstances, pressures, time, and everything possible. Except himself.

Proactive People Create their Life

Now, this is where proactive people are different. They have the understanding that their life is a reflection of their choices, decisions, and actions. Proactive people are self-aware, have a clear understanding of their purpose and values that guide them. They choose to act and not be acted upon by the external environment. Such people are the writers of their own stories. They take the needed actions to deal with the crisis. They face the crisis and choose to act positively. Instead of holding the external forces like national policies, technological failures, changing governments responsible for their failures. Externalities do not define their life. They design their own life.

2. You Focus Only on What is in Your Control

Uncle Samuel’s Flawed Center of Attention

Uncle Samuel believes that things outside him are responsible for making his life miserable. It’s either a bad day, weather, worthless people, or dynamic changes in the economy that have been creating a mess in his life for the past forty years. How is that a possibility that nothing changed in these forty years? Further, what’s the weather got to do with his unpaid debts? Instead of watching the dropping revenues, he’s watching the dropping investor sentiment. It’s quite possible that there are fewer investors in the market, but what about falling commissions from rental deals?

Proactive People Focus only On Things they can Control

Proactive people clearly know that their business is to mind their business. They never focus their attention on other people’s shortcomings or blame circumstances, their past, or their destiny. These people never invest their time and energies cribbing over the past, unfavorable government measures, or advantages other people have. This is because they understand that these are the things outside their control. Proactive people know that they have no control over people, situations, crises, investor sentiment, weather, and everything outside them. They can only focus on their actions, thoughts, and feelings.

Such people choose not to react when someone speaks in an unpleasant way for they know that spoiling their day will only hamper their performance. They choose:

• To say no to time-wasting tasks and focus on the ones that take them closer to their purpose
• Then, to be loyal to their spouse
• Not to be victims to the external force
• To simply say “ I am responsible.”

They are aware of the reality and they know what actions need to be taken.

3. You Know Who you Are and What you Want

Uncle Samuel Lacks Self Awareness and Purpose

Well, this is the most important thing he needs to do. He simply needs to sit with himself and reflect on his thoughts and actions. How does he look at various things? Is being determined by external forces really the correct way of looking at life? Is my success or failure really dependent on the external environment? What is the one thing I want to achieve? Where do I want to go?

Proactive People are Self Aware and are Driven by their Purpose

Proactive people have the ability to self-examine. Such people can separate themselves from their thought processes and evaluate the way they see life. They can identify the thoughts that are influenced by the social paradigm and not their values or principles and work towards changing them. They are also able to get rid of lines of thinking they acquired from the environment in which they were brought up and are not in line with their values and principles. Further, they have a clear purpose in life. They know what they want to do and achieve in life. Hence, all their actions, decisions, and choices are directed towards their purpose.

4. You Choose to Act and Live its Consequences

For Uncle Samuel, both Actions and Consequences are Uncontrollable

Uncle Samuel’s way of life says “I am determined by situations, circumstances and everything outside me”. “I am not responsible for whatever is happening to me.” So concept like incorrect choices and learning from them is something that Uncle Samuel fails to assimilate. He’s yet to understand that he is responsible for his life.

Proactive People Know that Consequences of their Actions are Out of Their Control

Proactive people choose to act. True! But, it’s not mandatory that all of their choices are correct. In other words, there are some choices that they make which can result in failures. Proactive people understand that they cannot do anything about the outcome of their choices. They cannot alter them. This is something they have no control over. All they can do is learn from these failures and become prepared for future choices. They understand that they have control over their choices, but they have no control over their resulting outcomes. If those choices result in failures, they acknowledge them, learn from them and use that wisdom in making future choices.