How to Control Your Anger?: – 8 Tips On Anger Management
In this article, you will learn:
We all experience anger and know how it feels like to be in an angry mood. It is a natural response to the threats, attacks, injustice, and disappointment that we encounter in our daily life. Anger is one of the fundamental emotions. It is one of the most powerful emotions that you experience when dealing with stress in your life.
However, anger may affect your daily life, relationships, mental health, and achievements when it is out of control, extreme, or persistent.
In other words, anger is equally valuable and significant an emotion as other emotions you experience. You are angry whenever you’re wronged or mistreated or experience something that is not up to your standard.
The feeling of ‘I am angry’ is not a point of concern. Rather, it’s how you deal with it. Anger becomes a challenge when it causes harm to you and the person you direct it to.
When in its grip, you feel as if things are out of your control. You feel there is nothing you can do to get in charge of the feeling. However, you should know that you can do a lot in controlling anger. You can learn how to express your feelings in an assertive way without causing any harm to other people. This will not only make you feel accepted but would also allow you to get your expectations met.
However, the ability to control your anger comes with a lot of practice. There are numerous ways of controlling anger. These include:
- Challenging angry thoughts early
- Relaxing and calming down
To help you with the feelings of anger, we have come up with an anger management guide. This guide explains what anger is, how anger works, and how to control anger when it grips you.
What is Anger?
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anger in the following manner.
“Anger is an emotion marked by antagonism towards someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. It is one of the most primary human emotions. Furthermore, anger is a physical and mental response to a threat or any harm done to you in the past.
Thus, anger is a behavioral or emotional response to an expectation or demand that has not been fulfilled, unachieved goals, threats, feelings of hurt resulting from another person’s actions or words.
Generally, we consider anger as a negative emotion. However, anger as an emotion is necessary for a man’s survival. This is because it is a way through which you can:
- express negative feelings
- defend or protect yourself when attacked, given it is an autonomic response to threats
- come up with solutions for problems
It is absolutely normal to feel angry, and in its appropriate degree, anger is necessary for a man’s survival. However, the challenge with anger is that it can easily get out of control.
It becomes unhealthy when you make risky choices or take actions based on anger. Anger is not a condition but rather a symptom that something is going off-balance in your life.
For instance, if you do not get sufficient sleep or work even during weekends and rarely exercise, you are susceptible to extreme anger and irritation.
In its extreme form, anger can become pathological, resulting in anxiety, depression, insomnia, or agitation. When it comes to that level, it has serious implications on personal and professional relationships and one’s health.
So, people who have a short temper also suffer from a number of other symptoms. These include anxiety, mood swings, and an inclination towards impulsive behavior such as drug or alcohol abuse, and conflicting behavior towards those who are close to them.
According to Charles Spiel Berger, a psychologist who studies anger, anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.
Physiological and biological changes accompany such an emotional state. The physiological changes include an increase in heart rate, muscle tension, restlessness, faster breathing, sweating, and trembling.
The biological changes include the release of fight-or-flight hormones – adrenaline and noradrenaline. These hormones lead to an increase in energy levels that help in fighting or escaping the situation.
Furthermore, the cause of anger can be either internal or external. The internal factors include illogical and irrational thoughts, inappropriate expectations, feelings of frustration, etc., while the external factors include being disappointed, insulted, threatened, neglected, breach of confidence, etc.
How Does Anger Work?
Anger is the most fundamental of all negative emotions, and it can be quite challenging to control your anger. The very foundation of anger is the initial thought that provoked it the moment you feel threatened.
The thought is powerful in that it engulfs your entire brain in its grip. Your rational brain does not get the chance to respond in a calculated way. Simultaneously, it releases hormones that increase energy levels, enabling you to fight or escape such an endangerment.
Besides this, when you are angry, you convince yourself with arguments in support of expressing anger at a given event or person. This is because the emotion can be so powerful that you quite often believe that “my anger is out of control’ and hence must be vented out.
Essentially, a sequence of angry thoughts is what potentially makes you feel angry. The more convincing arguments or self-justifications you find in support of the initial angry thought, the longer the anger persists.
These provocations increase the level of energy at every successive anger-provoking thought. Such an immense level of energy leads to physiological arousal, which builds more anger and can even lead to violence if not controlled. When in its grip, you become ruthless, do not make an attempt to reason out, and hence focus your attention only on the angry thoughts.
Such a high level of excitation gives you power that facilitates aggression, aborts cognitive thinking, and forces your brain to respond in the traditional way.
Ways to Control Your Anger
There are many ways of controlling anger, such as taking time out, deep breathing, changing the environment, etc.
At times, such ways to control anger work quite well. But there are times when these anger management strategies do not work at all.
If these ways of controlling anger do not work, you might have to consult a therapist to discuss anger management. Now, there are some people who use the energy released during the anger cycle in a constructive way. They either take action to solve the problems or talk to other people. Such actions help them in controlling anger effectively. However, there are others who prefer leaving the problem at hand altogether.
As mentioned above, the first step in controlling anger is being aware of the external factors, events, or circumstances that make you feel angry or initiate the first set of negative thoughts.
The next step in how to stop anger is to acknowledge the feelings that indicate anger quite early in the anger cycle. These feelings include symptoms of irritation, disappointment, threat, disrespect, etc.
It is important to become aware of these anger symptoms quite early in the anger cycle because it helps us in taking the right steps to reduce anger and prevent it from getting worse.
In other words, it will be challenging for you to control your anger if you fail to recognize the triggers. As a result, the initial set of negative thoughts could soon turn into rage. This could compel you to perform actions that may hurt other people.
The following are the tips on how to control anger:
1. Find Real Reason Behind Anger
The anger issues often originate from the experiences you had during your childhood. Say you grew up watching your family members behaving aggressively. As a result, you believe that this is the ideal way of expressing anger.
Besides childhood experiences, traumatic events and increased stress levels can also lead to feeling angry.
Furthermore, you need to ask yourself whether this anger is due to feelings or any kind of vulnerability.
You must remember that anger is just a cover-up for other feelings you are feeling deep inside. These are the feelings that you are not conscious or aware of. That is why you have to become aware of your inner feelings. In other words, you have to recognize the underlying reason that makes you feel angry. And you can do this by expressing anger in a constructive way.
You also need to ask yourself whether this anger is due to feelings or any kind of vulnerability.
In case you get angry easily in many situations, it is quite likely that you are masking your true feelings.
This usually happens when you are discouraged from expressing your feelings, so it becomes quite challenging for you to recognize feelings other than anger when you grow up.
Besides this, anger can result from health problems, such as depression, persistent stress for a long period of time, or any trauma.
So, anger often comes when you have challenges in recognizing different emotions, and it becomes the only response you have to different situations.
The first step to managing your anger in these situations is therefore connecting with your inner feelings.
2. Become Aware of Emotional Triggers
The next step in controlling anger is identifying the emotional triggers that make you feel angry.
For instance, worry is an emotion that helps you to come up with solutions for life’s challenges. When feeling worried, you anticipate dangerous events or situations before they actually arise, which was essential for people’s survival over the course of evolution.
However, it does not bring positive solutions when you are under its grip. In other words, when worry as a response comes in repeated cycles, it leads to chronic worry.
Repeated worries typically fixate your attention on a series of other concerns. Such a fixation leads you to experience an infinite loop of low-grade emotions like anger.
This low-grade emotional hijacking is uncontrollable and makes your mind completely inflexible. It also triggers a fight-or-flight system in your body due to the amygdala hijack.
So, the more you get angry, the more your body responds physically. The first step to control this infinite loop of low-grade emotions is to become aware of the triggers. These are triggers that make you feel angry quite early in the anger cycle.
You also need to identify events or thoughts that begin the cycle of worry. In addition to this, you need to recognize the physiological changes your body goes through the moment you start feeling angry.
Anger can lead to the following anger symptoms:
- Knots in your stomach
- Increasing heart rate
- Tension in muscles
- Clutching your hands
- Drawing your jaws together
- Heat being released from the face
- Inability to focus
- Challenging your negative thoughts
Once you’re aware of such physiological changes and anger-provoking thoughts, you would be better equipped to deal with anger. Then you can adopt any of the relaxation methods to calm down and think constructively.
Besides these physical factors, there are some external forces like people, situations, events, or places that make you angry. You cannot justify your anger by giving an excuse for the stressful events, circumstances, situations, or people who provoke you.
If you are able to understand how these external forces affect you emotionally, you will be able to control your environment and avoid unnecessary irritation.
You should try to determine which people, circumstances, situations, or activities trigger anger. Then, try to visualize the situation in a different way to be able to avoid anger.
3. Challenging Angry Thoughts Early
The next step in how to reduce anger is challenging the initial bad thoughts that make you angry. It is these initial foul thoughts that initiate anger and lead to another set of anger-provoking thoughts.
Thus, when you are angry you believe that either some external event or indifferent actions of the other people is the cause of anger.
But you should remember that your anger has less to do with what happens to you. Rather, it relates to how you perceive the things that happened to you.
There are some common negative thinking patterns that further provoke anger or make you feel angry. These include:
1. Being Rigid About Things
This means that you have an inflexible viewpoint about the way things should be and in case the reality does not match with your expectations, you feel angry.
2. Reaching Conclusions
This is another negative thinking pattern where you assume that you already know what the other person is thinking or feeling and that he or she has intentionally put you in a bad mood has disrespected you or has ignored your feelings.
3. Blame Game
Another common pattern you must have seen when you are angry is that you always consider that someone else is at fault when anything goes wrong or something bad happens to you. This means that you start blaming other people for things that happen to you instead of taking the responsibility for your life on your own.
4. Ignoring the Positive Past
When you are angry, you usually tend to forget the positive experiences that you had with the other person. Instead, your brain looks for things to upset you all the more. Thus, the moment you allow these little irritations or frustrations to build up, there comes a time when your anger builds up and you explode over things that are quite petty in nature.
5. Forming Judgements
Anger makes you form judgments within no time as it overpowers your thinking brain and takes you miles away from reasoning things out. There are some generalizations that you often make when you are angry. For instance, you never give importance to my feelings, everyone is against me, you always have the intention of insulting me, etc.
Thus, one of the important steps in how to control temper is to challenge the initial thoughts. If the initial negative thought is challenged at an early stage in the vicious cycle of anger, it will help in controlling anger effectively.
In other words, you can control your anger if you are able to somehow defy the initial set of foul thoughts.
Say, for instance, your manager asks you and your colleague to present an idea for a book cover soon to be launched a few months from now. During the presentation, your manager challenges the design put forth by you and accepts the idea presented by your colleague.
Such a gesture seems like a personal attack on you and makes you ruminate about such an attack all the more, based on your past memories of the manager. As typically is the case, if you keep on ruminating, you become angrier and start sweating or trembling as a consequence of such a rage.
However, if you would have taken your manager’s suggestion in a constructive way the moment it was presented, you would have dealt with the discomforting feelings in a more effective way.
Such a constructive thought process quite early in the vicious cycle of anger allows you to analyze the anger-provoking events. However, you should remember that such constructive thinking works only when you experience a moderate amount of anger. When you experience uncontrollable anger, it engulfs your rational mind and seizes the opportunity to think cognitively of the underlying event.
Tip #4: Relax and Calm Down
When you are angry, your body releases a set of fight or flight hormones like adrenaline that increase the level of energy inside the body. This surge in the level of energy allows you to give a fight or flight response to the underlying event that is the very cause of your anger.
To subdue this energy level, you need to relax, calm down, and take yourself away from the person or event that triggered anger.
Thus, another significant tip on how to reduce temper is to calm yourself down. By changing the setup or environment, you are trying to hold back the anger-provoking thoughts and consequently prohibiting the further release of fight or flight hormones.
Another way to relax is to seek out distractions of your own interest as these would become powerful tools to moderate your foul mood. This is because it is quite challenging to remain in that same foul mood when you are engaged in an activity that gives you pleasure.
For instance, an argument in a board meeting has put you in a bad mood. This has now started to impact you physiologically and has taken your mindset to continue working for the rest of the day. You love playing video games in your free time, your favorite being FIFA. Cut off from the stressful environment by resuming the FIFA game that you left playing last night for a while.
Besides this, there are other ways to relax and calm down. You can spend some time alone, with yourself either:
- Deep breathing
- Taking long walks
- Relaxing muscles
These relaxation methods allow you to take your body from a high arousal state to a lower one and distract your mind, thus helping you to control your anger. Exercise also brings about the same effect on your body. However, these relaxation methods would not work if you keep on focusing your attention on anger-provoking thoughts. This is because each of such successive bad thoughts helps in building anger all the more. Thus, the best way to control your anger is to distract yourself.
Tip #5: Better Communication
The next tactic for how to stop anger is to indulge in self-talk. When you are angry, it is quite natural for you to reach conclusions that might not be necessarily accurate. For instance, if someone criticizes your work, you become defensive and hence try to fight back by raising your voices, bringing arguments supporting your thought process, and becoming physically aggressive.
In such a situation, you need to calm down and think about how you are going to respond to such emotional triggers. Do not fixate your attention on thoughts that come to your mind at the time you are angry. Instead, think about the underlying event and be mindful of the words that you intend to use to respond to the given situation or the concerned person.
- How important is anger in the bigger picture?
- Does the given situation deserve your anger?
- Is it worth spoiling the rest of the day?
- Does my response favor the situation?
- Is there anything I can do about it?
- Is taking action worth my time?
Furthermore, you must try to understand the underlying message that the other person wants to convey. This can only happen if you calm yourself down and think before you give any sort of an answer. Also, you need to be patient to implement this each time you are angry.
Tip #6: Express Anger in a Better Way
In case a situation makes you feel angry, you should always try to make things better by channelizing your feelings in a healthy way. This is another important tip on how to manage anger. When anger is channelized and communicated in an effective way, it can turn out to be a great source of energy and would bring about change.
Always try to identify the root cause of frustration as it will help you to communicate anger effectively, take constructive action, and work towards problem-solving
Leave the situation for a small period of time to give yourself an opportunity to calm down. For example, you can undertake any activity like going for a walk, hitting a gym, listening to music, etc
Always try to understand the underlying message the other person wants to communicate. Simply do not impose your thought process on the other person.
Your priority should always be to strengthen a relationship rather than winning the argument. So, give respect to the viewpoints or opinions of other people.
- Do not bring the past into the picture. Always focus on the present to solve the problem.
- Do not fight on petty issues. Rather, choose your battles that are really worthy of your time and energy.
- Always have the attitude of forgiving as this would help solve the conflict.
- When the argument does not reach a conclusion, it is always better to disengage.
Tip #7: Using Humour
Using humor is another effective tip for how to reduce anger. It will help you to keep your emotional balance intact. One of the ways in which you can use humor is to imagine a humorous picture of the words that you might use for the other person when you are angry.
For instance, if you use the word “weirdo’ for the other person, imagine how a weirdo riding a tricycle and coming to the office, with a Santa cap on his head and balloons in one of the hands and is doing funny things to make people laugh, much like Mr. Bean. Do this whenever you intend to use bad words or phrases for the other person when you are angry. This will help you release anger and reduce tension. There are two caveats to using humor.
Firstly, you should use humor constructively to solve your problems rather than just overlooking them. Secondly, you should not use humor to give harsh sarcastic comments as this is another form of anger.
Tip #8: Therapy
The last thing about how to manage anger is to take therapy. In cases of uncontrollable anger, despite practicing the above-mentioned anger management techniques, or before your anger starts impacting your relationships and other important areas of your life, you need to understand that it is the right time to consult a psychologist or any other licensed professional. These professionals would help you in controlling anger by using various techniques.
The therapists undertake therapy which is an excellent way to determine the underlying cause of anger. In case you are unaware of the reasons that make you feel angry, then it becomes quite challenging to control your anger.
Therefore, therapy offers a safe environment where you can become aware of the reasons as well as the triggers that make you feel angry.
Besides undertaking therapy, there are many professionals who conduct anger management classes that give you an opportunity to learn anger management skills in a group.
Since such classes are conducted in a group, you observe other people coping up with similar challenges, learn techniques and tips on how to control anger, and also get a chance to hear stories of different people.
So, if you undergo any of the following feelings or experiences, its time that you should seek professional help:
- Constant frustration and anger despite trying various anger management techniques
- Challenges at work or relationships due to excessive anger
- Avoiding social gatherings as you cannot control your anger
- Engage in physical violence due to excessive anger
- Legally reprimanded due to excessive anger
How To Control Anger and Stress?
Numerous studies showcase an association between anger and stress. Stress plays a significant role in making you feel angry. Chronic stress may lead to irritability and increase your anger behaviors.
Stress in a controlled form is healthy as it motivates you to achieve your goals and makes you focus on important tasks both at home and at work. In addition, this type of stress does not lead to irritability or anger.
However, chronic stress also referred to as distress, is the one that can make you feel angry. This is because the intensity of the stress or the stress level is too high to inspire you to get out of your bed and get going.
In other words, when you experience stress for an extended period of time, or numerous things overwhelm you at the same time spiking the stress levels above a certain threshold, you are not able to handle the stress anymore. Hence, you get angry.
Your anger means that there is some other feeling that stresses you out. These feelings may include disrespect, fearfulness, shame, helplessness, trauma, etc. It is very important to understand these underlying feelings to uncover why you get stressed, leading you to feel angry.
Apart from finding out WHY we get stressed and angry, we also need to practice HOW to manage these feelings of anger and stress to be able to cope with them.
But before jumping to how to control anger and stress, let’s understand what might be the reasons for your anger and stress.
So What Causes Anger and Stress?
Interpretation of Experiences
Certain situations can trigger anger or stress. Now, the extent to which you experience anger or stress depends on how you interpret the things that happen to you.
For instance, if your manager loses his self-control and takes out his anger on you, his response may make you feel angry. You might react by either shouting back at him or leaving the room, banging the door behind.
But, some people may perceive this event in a more constructive way. They challenge the negative thought about the manager and engage in effective self-talk. They may try to find a reasonable cause for the manager’s anger.
For example, it could have been too much stress, a bad phone call five minutes back, or the anxiety to meet the deadline that overwhelmed the manager and made him feel angry as a result.
Some people grow in an environment where family members turn to physical violence or react aggressively when the situation does not go according to what they expect.
Such aggressive behavior patterns have a significant impact on the children. They might believe that being physically violent or aggressive is the ideal (or only) way of venting out anger.
When children with such a model of reaction to negative emotions experience stress, they often find difficulty controlling their anger and stress levels.
When people experience traumatic, painful, or frightening events, they may start to experience chronic stress or intense feelings related to those events, also known as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Such increased levels of stress may lead to anger outbursts that may significantly impact an individual’s day-to-day life.
If you are experiencing a lot of stress at present, either in your personal or professional life, it is quite likely that you are experiencing anger constantly.
Having problems in marriage, dealing with a difficult manager, having many fast-approaching deadlines, or serious medical issues are just a few of the situations which might put you under immense stress. They may also lead you to feelings of anger, which is quite challenging to control.
Alcohol and Drug Problems
Sometimes, in order to get temporary relief from the immense stress, people consume drugs and alcohol. However, they are unaware that when you are already anxious or stressed, these feelings can worsen in your brain when exposed to substances like drugs or alcohol, making people more aggressive.
Some people have a habit of perceiving things negatively. Such people take one negative event as an indication of a trail of negative events that are yet to follow. They might take a genuine mistake made by someone else as a deliberate and intentional action made with bad intent. People with such negative thinking patterns often face challenges in controlling anger and stress.
Type of Personality
The personality traits of an individual also expose them to anger or stress differently. There are some people who have the tendency to get stressed or angry quite easily.
For instance, some people are quite inflexible to new things, events, people, circumstances, situations, etc., and as a result, get stressed or angry quite often and quite easily.
Then there are others who have a very low tolerance for irritation or any kind of disappointment. Such people get angry quite easily and hence find it difficult to control anger.
How to Manage Anger and Stress?
You need to understand that anger and stress are natural and human feelings.
They have an evolutionary basis and cannot be prevented completely, as they are a cue for you to realize that something is happening in your life that you should pay attention to.
However, they can become overwhelming or come as a disproportionate reaction, in which case you should definitely work on them.
- Maintaining anger diary
- Taking time out
- Talking to friends and family
- Getting enough sleep
- Thinking before speaking
- Keeping your cool
- Do not take things personally
- Do not surrender to fear
- Communicate decisively
- Identifying anger symptoms
- Recognizing triggers both external and internal
- Practicing meditation or Yoga
- Undertaking deep breathing exercises
Ways To Control Anger In Kids
Anger tantrums in kids usually occur at the age of 2 or 3 when children are trying to understand themselves.
For instance, a toddler may understand “me” or “my wants” but is too young to understand how to satisfy those wants. With the lack of ability to use words and having a high amount of energy, toddlers make use of tantrums to express and get their wants met.
These anger tantrums reach their peak between 2 and 3 years of age, and they begin to decline when a child turns 4.
Such tantrums are often showcased in public when the children are asked not to engage in something they wish or desire to do.
Once the child’s wants get fulfilled, they typically stop the tantrum.
If such aggressive behaviors occur in children younger than one year and older than four years of age, last for more than 15 minutes, or occur three or more times in a day, it is a matter that parents must take seriously.
In such cases, parents should seek the help of a psychologist, family therapist, a family physician or go to a child anger management therapy.
These anger fits in preschoolers might be the early symptoms of children becoming gradually aggressive, undisciplined, and unmanageable when they get older.
Why are certain children not able to control their temper tantrums with age? There might be many different reasons.
Why Are Some Kids Not Able To Control Anger?
A study examining this topic found the following patterns observed in kids getting angry:
- Parents of an angry kid were undergoing some kind of stressful event, such as chronic illness, divorce or unhappy marriage, financial crisis, etc.
- It is quite difficult for parents to control the disobedience of such an angry child.
- Parents do not stop their kids or engage in helping kids deal with anger tantrums, i.e., they surrender.
- Since parents do not question their kids getting angry or displaying tantrums publicly, such children become disobedient and aggressive.
- Parents as well as peers do not accept the angry child.
So what exactly happens that there is anger in children’s behavior when they grow up. Three things happen step-by-step.
Steps Leading To Child Anger
- An angry or frustrated parent/sibling yells or shouts at the child
- In return, the child who has been yelled at responds aggressively.
- Observing the child’s aggression, the attacker (parent or sibling) withdraws and thus the angry child learns tricks, like yelling or whining, to get his or her demands met.
So, it is quite important for parents as well as caregivers to learn to understand anger issues in kids so that they are helping children manage anger.
The following are the factors that cause feelings of anger in children:
- Interactions With Peers
- Parent Modeling
- Child’s Own Reasoning Behind Expressing Anger
- The manner In Which Anger is Expressed
- Level of Maturity
- Other Causes
How Do I Control My Anger?
There are various self-help anger management techniques like identifying physical symptoms and anger triggers, challenging angry thoughts early, practicing relaxation techniques, communicating effectively, and using humor. If these self-help anger management tips do not help you in controlling anger, then you can always seek professional help and undergo Therapy or group classes.
Is Anger a Mental Illness?
Anger in itself is not considered a disorder or mental illness. It is a symptom of several mental illnesses, for instance, depression, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Alcoholism, Bipolar Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Narcissistic Personality or Grief.
What is the Best Therapy For Anger Management?
There are certain effective therapeutic ways that can help you manage anger. The best therapy for anger management includes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), in which persons are exposed to imaginary incidents that provoke anger. Such therapy provides an opportunity for the patients to learn, identify their negative thought patterns, and try to self-monitor anger.
What is Silent Anger?
Silent Anger or Passive Aggression is the one in which a person withdraws into themself, keeps anger inside, and does not talk about how they feel when they are angry; as such, a person is afraid to confront people whom they love. It can often stem from feelings of fear that they may say something that will hurt others. People who become silent when they are angry do not take a stand for themselves and shy away from confronting people who hurt them.
What Are Three Types of Anger?
The three types of anger include Passive Aggression, Open Aggression, and Assertive Aggression. Passive Aggression is the one in which people become silent when they are angry as they do not want to express their anger out of fear of disturbing the people whom they love. Open Aggression is the one in which people become physically or verbally violent, lashing out at other people in rage, and become destructive. Such type of anger comes out of the need to dominate or control other people as a person showcasing open aggression believes that he deserves to be treated in a better way. Lastly, Assertive Anger is the one in which the person thinks before speaking, is confident about what they want to say, does not raise his voice, and is open and flexible to listen to the other side.
What is the Root Cause of Anger?
The root cause of anger is often not a recent trigger but something really deep that sometimes originates from childhood. Some people suppress or deny anger because, as kids, their family members considered expressing anger as unacceptable. Thus, such children are afraid of demonstrating anger and repress it as a result. Some other people who grow up in an environment where they are overexposed to anger as kids might consider anger to be a useful tool to get things done.
What Emotion is Behind Anger?
Anger is not a primary emotion. Rather it is considered a secondary emotion that gets triggered as a response to other sets of negative emotions including anxiety, shame, frustration, sadness, fear, guilt, jealousy, disappointment, worry, embarrassment, and hurt.
How Do I Stop Explosive Anger?
The strategies to control explosive anger include recognizing the physiological changes, identifying the emotional triggers, challenging the negative thoughts early on in the anger cycle, communicating effectively, and then using relaxation techniques to calm yourself down. In case you are still not able to manage anger, then you can seek the help of a psychologist and undergo therapy.
Why Am I Getting Mad So Easily?
Anger comes from various sources like disrespect, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, threat attack, neglect, frustration, sadness, worry, jealousy, guilt, etc. However, sometimes anger comes due to certain hormonal changes in the body or because of some mental disorder like depression, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ADHD, ODD, IED, PTSD, etc.
Is Anger a Sign of ADHD?
Yes! Anger or frustration, getting stressed out, irritability, or having short temper are few of the many signs or symptoms that can indicate that a person has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It is not mandatory that a person who does not have control over his anger necessarily has ADHD as there are 32 mental disorders that have anger or frustration as its symptom.
Are Anger Issues Genetic?
Anger often runs in families. But Many people think that anger is genetic. However, psychologists believe that anger is a behavior that is learned. Families teach their children ways to express their feelings like happiness, anger, sadness, and fearfulness. In case, a family does not know how to control anger, then it is very much likely that the children would showcase the same behavior. Thus, if a family does not know how to cope with anger, then it gets passed on from one generation to the next generation.
What is Bipolar Rage?
Bipolar Rage or Bipolar Anger is a mental disorder that affects your mood, that is, you undergo a cycle of mood changes between depression and mania or unexpected and dramatic changes in your mood.
How Do You Punish a Child With Anger Issues?
If your child has anger issues, there are various ways to curb your child’s explosive behavior. First, stay calm and control your own emotions. Do not yell or shout as this will make your child more aggressive. Second, do not agree to the wants or demands of your kids when they are angry as they would consider it an effective way to get their needs met. Next, you can also appreciate their positive behaviors and help them identify and designate feelings so that they have a better understanding of emotions. Further, you can help your child resort to various relaxation techniques when angry like reading a book, coloring, going in the garden area to play, etc.
Why Is My Child So Angry and Aggressive?
There are numerous reasons that result in anger and aggression in children. One of the common reasons is frustration in kids when their expectations or demands are not met or when they ate compelled to do something that they do not feel like doing. Furthermore, Anger issues in kids might also indicate that they are undergoing some sort of mental illness such as autism, OCD, ADHD, etc. Other causes of anger in kids can be trauma, biological factors, harsh parenting styles, surrounding environment, etc.